The Adventures of Skips Seahooves
by skipperseahooves
Summary: The tale of Skipper "Skips" Seahooves, an earth pony who has had many roles throughout his life as a pirate, an adventurer, a spy, and possibly even a hero.


_Alright. Here is an original character fan fiction, as if we all don't end up with enough of these every two hours. Yes, I will be putting in Canon characters later, so hold your horses. (Pun intended). Also keep in mind this is a bit of an alternate universe to the regular ponies we all know and love. (There now I avoided any discrepancies from the big back story canon episode coming out on December 17th 2011). You all know the drill. Constructive criticism is encouraged, trolls can go buck themselves. _

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><p>Boom! The house shook as if it had been hit with an earthquake. Granted my house was small, only one story, and built rather sloppily, which is evident when even a large gust of wind can shake it around, so an earthquake might have been a tad overkill for destroying it. What really worried me though was the red orange light coming from a distance I saw over the roofs of the neighbors across the street's homes. The noise rang out across the small town again.<p>

"Skips! Get down to the basement! It's a pirate raid!" my mom called.

Pirates. That just figured. When you live on the coast of Equestria you always hear about them, but pass them off as someone else's problem, like a car theft or a break in. You never expect it to happen to you and when it does you are caught so off guard you are standing there staring at it like a moron.

"Skips! Hurry!" my mom yelled from the top of the stairs, snapping me out of my trance. My full name is Skipper Lee Seahooves, but everyone who knows me just calls me Skips. Even in a full panic my mother couldn't break the habit.

"I'm coming!" I shouted back, dashing to the basement. It wasn't until we were both downstairs, though, that we realized neither of us had turned on the lights. Unable to see my hoof in front of my face I fumbled around near the wall looking for the switch.

"Skips are you down here? I can't see you!" my mom yelled. Of course she couldn't see me. She was a brighter shade of yellow; I am a darker shade of blue, making it nearly impossible to make out much more than my short red mane and tail in the dark.

"I'm here. No need to yell," I said turning on the lights. They blinded us for a moment as our eyes adjusted. Another "Boom" rang out, which looking back now was probably cannon fire from the ship. When my eyes finally did adjust I looked around.

"Wait a minute," I asked, "Where is dad?"

"Uh oh. He is probably still working at the docks," my mom replied.

My dad worked at the docks on the far side of the village. It was a slow job but it did pay well.

"He must be in danger from the pirates!" I said and ran up the stairs.

"Skips wait-" my mom began but it was too late. I had already run out of the house and didn't hear the rest. I almost wonder what she was going to say. Probably something about "don't do it there is nothing you can do." If that was the case then she was mostly right.

I ran as fast as I could to the docks. It wouldn't have been that much of a problem were it not for the fact that the streets curved and looped around at odd angles, making it nearly impossible for we earth ponies to go anywhere in a straight line. It was pretty stupid when you thought about how earth ponies made up most of the population there.

I made it to the docks and found out what the orange glow before had been. The area had been completely burned to the ground. Dead ponies were everywhere and the pirates were pouring out of their ship. Pegasi flew out high above and began firing flaming arrows down from their crossbows onto the nearest houses not yet in flames. Then I saw her.

The pirate captain was a dark black unicorn with a dark brown mane. She would have been an impressively terrifying sight had she not been wearing the cheesiest pirate hat I had ever seen. It had a huge curve in front with white skull and crossbones on it. At first glance I had thought she had bought it at some sort of costume store, and had I not seen the destruction she was causing I wouldn't have taken her seriously.

Knowing there was no way my dad could have survived the carnage at the docks I began to run home. Boom! Another cannon ball shot high about the village coming down in a crash in the exact direction I was needed to go in. If I wasn't panicking before I certainly was then.

It took a while to navigate the twists and turns of the streets. I was too nervous and scared to think straight and continued to turn down the wrong alleys. My worst fears were realized though when I got to what was left of my house. The entire building had been smashed into the basement. For the first time I felt truly alone. I don't know how long I sat there in complete shock and disbelief, though it must have been at least an hour. The rest of the village was falling apart by then. Buildings were on fire everywhere.

It wasn't until I heard some pony yell, "Charge!" that I finally looked up. A hundred ponies, earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns in gold armor had come.

_Finally, _I thought, _the military is here to do something about this. Wait a minute. Why weren't they here earlier?_

The pirates and the army met in the center of town. I climbed onto the roof of one of the few houses not burned down yet to watch. The groups seemed hesitant to meet each other at first. A few unicorns in each began to sling a few lightning spells around and even a fire ball or two only to be deflected by the other group's spell casters. They seemed to be testing each other before any real fighting began.

The pegasi were a different matter though. Once they had taken to the sky the dog fight had begun right away. Crossbows fired in every direction as the combatants circled around each other. One of the pegasi in the army got hit in the knee with an arrow but quickly fired back impaling her foe in the neck. The pirates began to withdraw.

Meanwhile the battle below had finally begun. Earth ponies with all sorts of swords, maces, and battle axes hacked away at each other. The unicorns continued firing more and more complex spells. Then I saw her again. The pirate captain and the commander of the force began to square off in the middle of the battle.

The commander dodged a fire ball and swung his sword towards his enemy's neck. The pirate captain dodged and conjured a sword of ice out of magic. The two locked blades held for a moment before backing away again. The pirate feinted low and quickly swung her blade at the commander's head. He barely blocked in time and was forced onto the defensive, dodging blows from the unicorn's spells and sword. Finally with a powerful blow he snapped her sword in two and pressed his attack. The unicorn ducked and tackled the commander. The armies rushed towards the dock as the two rolled away and readied themselves again. The unicorn picked up a fallen army pony's war hammer and threw it at the commander's head. He ducked but it gave her time to run back and rally her troops.

Some of the pirates back at the ship finally realized what was happening at the moment. They finally began to partake in the fight, mostly by trying to shoot cannons at random into the military's force. The army scattered amongst the fire as they took cover. A unicorn managed to overcome the raw power of one of the shots and sent it back at the ship. The cannon it was fired from exploded as it was hit, throwing the two pirates using it and blasting a hole in the ship.

The battle went chaotic from there though. In one area two earth pony pirates squared off against two military ponies. In another a military unicorn held off spell from three pirates. The pegasi in the skies were constantly in motion trying to hit their enemies while not hitting their friends.

"Fall back!" shouted the commander, but the army was too spread out to truly hear him. Some followed the order but many were simply too busy with the noise of the battle to hear him. It was at this time that I basically said to heck with doing nothing.

Looking around, I saw that I was probably the one of the last villagers still alive. Not too many others could have survived this carnage. I climbed down from my little seat on the roof.

_What could these pirates want here that is so important that they'd risk going up against the military to get? _I wondered. I turned and saw a brown pirate about to stab a red earth pony that had been knocked down.

Screaming at the top of my lungs I grabbed a fallen sword and stabbed the pirate in the back. The military pony got up.

"Thanks kid," he said, taking the sword back. He then ran off to help his fellow soldiers. I picked up the pirate's sword.

"This has got to be the dumbest thing I have ever so much as thought of," I mumbled to myself. I then continued through the town looking to see how I could help.

I made it to one of the farther edges of the town, near the road leading to the city of Marewaukee, when I saw another group of military ponies running down the road.

"Over here!" I called out to them. It was a stupid idea, however, because I was met by a fire ball that one of _their _unicorns had thrown at the ground under me. I was thrown into the air and into the house behind me.

The new force took little time going about helping the pirates. Apparently some idiot commander had gone traitor and got paid off to help them. Just my luck with the kind of day I was having.

With the new arrivals around the military pegasi trying to help the village were quickly scattered and forced down. The Equestrian military was forced to take cover in the now completely obliterated village. I was lucky though. At this point I was still in a bit of shock and too angry and frightened to really feel the pain. When I came back fully to my senses, I attacked the nearest opponent, a green unicorn in standard equestrian gold armor.

"What the!" He cried as I leapt at him. He blasted a lightning bolt in my direction but it shot over my head and into the sky. I slit his throat and moved on down into the village.

Fortunately for me the battle was still largely in chaos. The commander and a small force of thirty had moved into the center of the area holding against anyone dumb enough to take them all on, but without control of the skies they were still getting pounded with crossbow bolts. The unicorns in the group were holding an impressive looking blue shield around them but it was visibly weakening.

So of course I did the most stupid thing possible.

I ran over to a fallen military pegasus. Amazingly she was still alive. She had taken an arrow in the wing and had clearly taken quite a drop.

"You using this?" I asked, pointing to the crossbow.

"Take it," she said weakly undoing it from around her front leg.

"Thanks," I said. I quickly fumbled with the straps and managed to hook it up to my own front leg. I then ducked behind a building pointing upward.

_Wait… how do I even fire one of these? _I thought. The crossbow was already loaded; all I needed to do was pull back and aim. I pulled back with my other hoof trying to aim at the yellow pegasus raining arrows down at the shield. I aim… and missed. The arrow zipped past and barely even grazed the pegasus. He turned towards me.

"Aw bucking hell!" I screamed as the he chased through the streets, firing as we went. "I suppose it's too late to say sorry?" I called back. An arrow flew past my head in response.

"Guess that's a no," I muttered.

I got chased into a back alley with no way out. Gasping for breath I knew I was done for.

"End of the line small fry," The pegasus said. He leveled his crossbow and prepared to fire… when out of nowhere a cannonball smashed over what was left of one of the buildings next to us and smashed him against the wall.

"Dang. Saved by the ball," I said. "The morons on that ship must be firing at random at this point."

As it turned out it wasn't the pirates that were attacking the town who fired that cannon ball, but we aren't to that part of the story quite yet.

I crept out of the alley checking to see who was nearby. There was shouting and the sounds off battle everywhere. I continued walking cautiously always expecting another pirate or soldier to leap out of a building. Then I saw them again.

They looked like they had through hell, but the commander and his troops were still fighting. A group of earth ponies from the other army had charged them and been pushed back easily.

"Stay together everypony," the commander said. "We don't know who or what will be coming around next. We need to stop them from reaching their real target. Come on."

The ponies stayed in formation as they went silently through the streets. I began to focus back on my own survival but my mind wandered again. What target could possibly have led these pirates to the sleepy village of Greenhoof? And whatever it is why would it be hidden here instead of in nearby Marewaukee?

I continued walking down until it hit me. And by it I mean a small rock falling off of the building to my left. I turned and looked at it rather dumbly, the adrenaline rush from the rest of the day beginning to fade. Finally I realized what I was looking at. It was the town hall on the north side of the village. The roof had been blasted off and an odd angle in the wall had been blown away. So, in line with the rest of my semi-brave decisions that day, I went inside and looked around.

Mrs. Cheesy Hat the pirate was there giving orders to the several others in the building.

"It must be in here! We need those documents! They will be worth a fortune!" She said.

_Hmm… the documents must be the target. I wonder what is in them _I thought. _Well I probably shouldn't let them get to them… whatever they are. _I ducked behind a section of the wall.

"Hey ugly!" I called. The pirate turned.

"Ye dare to mock captain Blackhooves?" she asked.

"Yeah I dare mock you bitch." I replied, sounding a lot less worn out and scared than I was.

"Then die!" She shouted sending a fireball at me. To be honest I am glad she did it. It taught me never to hide near potted plants when dealing with a pissed off unicorn. I ducked around and jumped underneath a counter.

"GET HIM!" Blackhooves shouted.

Again, it was just my luck. Why did I have to get involved in everything? Why couldn't I have just stayed in bed and have had a normal day of getting blown up with the rest of the town? Granted that would have made for a far less interesting story now, but still.

The three thugs in the building came in with swords out ready to chop up the counter. I crawled out around the back while they looked the other way.

"Behind you, you incompetent buffoons!" Blackhooves yelled. It was too late though. I had snuck up behind one of the thugs and did what any good hero would do: hit him with a cheap kick to the balls. Okay, maybe that's not one of my more heroic acts but hey, it got the job done.

The thug dropped to the ground with a groan and, more importantly, dropped his sword. I picked it up as his buddies turned around. They came at me, swords swinging downward. I dodged out of the way but not because of them. While I had been turned toward them I had seen out of the corner of my eye the unicorn preparing another fireball. I jumped to the ground as it blasted between the thugs, throwing them over the counter and through the wall.

"Trickier then I thought for just a pathetic child," she said. I feel I probably should have mentioned beforehand that I was only fifteen at this time. I hadn't even got my cutie mark unlike most of the rest of my class. So yeah, she had the right to call me child. I still say the pathetic remark was out of line, though a few I could mention would probably disagree.

She levitated the two thug's swords over to her. "I'll be more than happy to give you a real fight though!" And with that she charged at me.

I'd like to say that I held my ground bravely, deflected each blow with ease, and quickly went on the offensive and killed her. I'd like to, but that would be one of the largest lies I have ever told. Maybe not the largest, but it would be certainly close.

The truth is, when she charged I rolled out of the way and nearly got out of the way in time. Fortunately she got one of the swords stuck in the counter. I don't think I would still be alive if she hadn't because not only was she incredibly strong, she was _fast! _I barely brought my sword up to parry the next blow. She slashed again and again, each attack stronger and faster than the last.

Finally she knocked the sword from my hand.

"Any last words fool?" she asked.

"I've got a few choice words for you!" A voice with an odd, almost natural pirate accent called from across the room. I had my chance then.

As she turned to face the new comer I used the last bit of strength I had left, grabbed the sword, and stabbed her through the heart.

What happened next I am still not sure. I went into an odd sort of trance. Amazingly, and without explanation, the hat of all things seemed to be calling out to me. I reached down, picked it up, and put it on my head. There was a flash behind me. _Now what could that be?_ I thought. And then I passed out.


End file.
